Breaking Barriers
by HornLove
Summary: Kim's point of view/feelings on Jared's sudden interest in her. Imprint angst.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Eclipse implies that Kim's character is passive and quiet. I saw her as weak when Jacob mentioned when Jared and Kim had no drama — I find that hard to believe. Quite frankly, I'd be pissed if I was crushing on a guy who never paid attention to me before and then starts stalking me because of some wolf-bond connection related to none other than _genetics.  
_But that's another story. I am staying within the story, so this Kim will be passive (That's how SM loves to write her women...pfft) Anyway, Kim will be quiet/weak, but I cannot resist the imprint angst, so I'm juicing up her self-respect.**  
**In this story, Kim has many opinions and ideas and objections, but she will never act on them.**  
**That said, this will not have a picture-perfect imprinting ending, so if you're looking for one of those, you might as well hit the back-button. **

**Anyway, enjoy! **

Thirsty, black eyes.

With one swab of my head I would see two slanted, yet large and thirsty, black eyes, always. I could go to ends of the earth, and you would always be there. Your gaze left me uncomfortable most of the days, and the fierceness of your stare often left me prancing away, clutching my books for fear of failure. You'd trap me, and I'd feel caged...I'd feel so stuck that I was afraid I'd never break free, and the only response to that was to run.

And that's what I did. I ran. Whenever I saw you, I would run. And the scary thing was, I'd see you everywhere.

I mean everywhere. The lunch room, the library, outside my house, next to my car — everywhere. And always in the back of my mind, I find myself dreading the usual three second conversation you would engage in with me.

"_Hello, Kim"_

"_Hi, Jared"_

"_How was your day?"  
_

_"It was good,"_ at this point, my eyes always flit away from your contact, your fearlessness. _"How about yours?"_

And then you would grin, the simple upturn of your lips would send shivers in all directions through my spine. _"It just got better"_

And I would smile back, walk past you and run. I've never ran so fast in my life, Jared. You never ask why I run, you just simply, magically just know where I am after words. Always.

I remember a time, so vividly when I couldn't even get you to look at me, but now, all of a sudden I can't shake you off. Everywhere I go, I see you. I see those thirsty, black eyes.

I remember a time when you were a scrawny and five foot seven honest basket ball player. But after your little departure from our school, you suddenly gained six more inches and fifty pounds of muscle.

You also took a sudden interest in me, Kimberly Connweller — awkward and shy, Kim. You found me worth your time. From some unfathomable reason, you liked me.

And I have yet to figure it out, Jared, but my patience is thinning. My wall is shattering and every inch of resistance I initially pledged is wasting away with every single breathless moment I spend watching your thirsty, black eyes.

My heart pumps out of chest and leaps right in your hands, and I make myself vulnerable. My mind argues logically, you aren't worth my time. Why should I give you a chance, when I knew just weeks ago you didn't even know I existed?

The thing is, Jared...life ceases to be logical. The day you left from the day you came was the shifting of meek, shy and quiet Kim to the self-righteous Kim, who knew her place. Who knew when to walk and when to talk, who knew when a boy didn't love her, for her.

And I've made this clear to you, Jared. On so many different accounts. You've asked me out seventeen times, and I've denied you all the while. Yet you keep pestering.

You keep mentioning bonfires, beach parties, and tribal gatherings, and the same sad glint of hope shines in your eyes. I almost want to fold, but I swallow the words and tell you some lame excuse.

You look down and seem blue for the rest of the day, and I can never fathom why.

Why...why me? Why do you suddenly like me? Why do you suddenly follow _me_? I had the biggest crush on you, why didn't you talk to me then? Why couldn't you have loved me then? Why?

A boy like you could never take an interest in me, so why did it hurt so much when you told me you loved me?

I knew all along.

I just never knew a boy like you, would love a girl like me, for something as silly and animalistic as genetics.


	2. Theory

"I love you,"

It was the first time you said it. By my locker, you completely caught me off guard, but you still said it. I just simply stared at you in awe for ten minutes, before you began yammering.

"You don't have to say anything back," you promised, as if that was the real problem "I just wanted to tell you. No pressure"

And you give me a hug, and walk away.

What the fuck?

_No pressure?_ What the hell was _that _supposed to mean? Do you really think I don't love you? Do you really think that I don't I scream in my pillow every night, because I hold and guard my true feelings with my life?

Are you really that blind to never notice that I've loved you ever since the first grade?

Sadly, you are. You've never noticed me. You've never looked at me twice in your life, and here you go telling me you love me?

Even if it's true, what makes you think I'll love you back?

Most people are nervous when they tell someone this for the first time, but you said it as if it was so mundane. You spoke those three words as flimsily as possible. It came so easy to you, it came so easy for you to break my heart.

Was this some cruel joke?

There's a fifty percent chance that you gained a nasty drug habit over your little break from school, and is simply picking on poor little Kim Connweller, in exchange for drugs. Everyone knows those drug dealers just love seeing a girl's heart broken into a million tiny pieces.

Though this didn't seem likely, I never ruled the possibility that you were under the Imperious curse. Who knew, maybe you made a trip to London on your break and met a Death Eater who decided that they were bored and wanted to control a poor teenager into breaking a girls heart into a million tiny pieces.

Each and everyone of those situations involved your lack of choice, Jared. I feel like you didn't choose, and that bothers me. They were all very possible, though. Since logic failed to make sense anymore, anyway. You looking at me was beyond logical.

It's whatever though, you staring at me and talking to me has become normal. My heart doesn't beat as fast, my eyes don't blur as much and the wobble in my step is less visible by the days!

Despite the fact that I absolutely hate myself for loving you, I still managed a little self indignation and tell myself every day that you aren't worth my time.

Have you ever heard that you had to love yourself, before you ever love someone else? I guess that makes sense, Jared.

So it makes sense that me loving you, will in turn be hating myself. It'd be basically saying that I had to give up on my self-respect and freedom of choice for you to love me.

Jared. I can't do that...but at the same time, I'm all the more willing.

I think it's a little sad that I am able to sit with the fact and give up those rights for you. I think it's even more sad that I cry and scream in my pillow, everyday.

And what's even more sad, is the fact that my Imperious-curse theory was actually the closest guess to the correct answer..

**A little HP for you Harry Potter fans! Can't wait for 11/19/10! Oh, and by the way, I may write only Twilight fics, but HP is and always will be ten times better than Twilight! Take that Meyer ;) **


End file.
